Tseirp Translations

Translating Japanese Web Novels into English

GC V9C289

Disclaimer: Don’t read this while eating :C

(289) Dark-Elf pillow sale(?)

Translator: Tseirp

 

“Ah, so you’re referring to that.”

“Affirmative. I do not comprehend what master expected but yes that is what I meant.”

“No, Pionia-neechan. Master is definitely looking forward to us squeezing his body fluids out of him.”

“We are currently squeezing master’s body fluids out.”

“We are just wiping master’s sweat.”

I was currently in swimming trunks sweating inside a hot and humid closed room.

It was Pionia’s specially-made sauna which allowed magical power to flow with sweat.

“Sheena No.3 is working hard desu!”

“Ah, yes yes, good job.”

The stone that Sheena No.3 was burning was sprinkled with special water which turns into a mist that encourages the released of magical power and was being blown in my direction with a large fan.

It was truly the löyly sauna style.

It was good, it was great but I was troubled with where to look at when looking at Pionia and Neete.

They wore a loincloth below, white linen wrapped around their chest and a traditional Japanese straight-sleeved coat worn above it. (TLN: Fundoshi, Sarashi, and Happi.) Sheena No.3 was wearing the same attire and their coat had a fan drawn on it like those festival clothes.

It felt like I was in a shrine.

“Master, please release a lot of sweat.”

“Master, your face is red.”

Pionia and Neete commented as they continued their task of wiping and wringing out my sweat.

“My face is red because I am sweating and it is hot in here …”

I was definitely not feeling excited in that situation.

My magical power was being released properly but I wondered if that method actually provides the highest concentration of magical power?

I felt that it was more efficient doing it regularly with a massage.

After the two of them finished squeezing out the sweat they collected from me, they drank it on the spot.

Even if I did sweat a lot, it won’t end up as a large volume to drink so they finished quickly but they made poor expressions.

Although I would be troubled if they looked satisfied after drinking another person’s sweat.

” … It’s thin.”

“Yeah, thin … what’s the reason? In theory, it should be a lot more delicious.”

“I know, the reason is this room. As this room is filled with steam to promote the dispersal of magical power, the magical power that we wipe from Master’s sweat is escaping into the air.”

“What a miscalculation!”

Neete shouted as if it was an earth-shattering event.

“You should have thought of it at the time of designing this!”

I shouted but Neete and Pionia looked like they were up to no good as they started discussing something while looking at me.

 

“In other words, rather than wiping it with a cloth, it would be better to drink the sweat that comes out directly, Pionia-oneesan!”

“Affirmative, Neete. As expected of my younger sister.”

“Wa-wait, directly drinking means, you girls —”

This time, I don’t think my imagination was wrong.

“Please keep still, it won’t hurt.”

“Or rather, I have confidence that it will feel good.”

“Wa-wait, you girls! What do you plan to do with those tonguessss!?”

I was being pressured by the two of them and I stretched my hand toward Sheena No.3 for help but —

 

“Temperature and heat have exceeded the allowable range desu … entering cooling mode desu …”

 

Sheena No.3 nonchalantly switched to cooling down mode.

Don’t work in a hot and high humidity space if you are a precise junk machine!

I didn’t have the chance to shout as Pionia and Neete preyed on me.

 

※※※

 

“That was terrible …”

I was really conscious when they licked my armpits.

Although I was able to protect having my pants on until the very end.

Incidentally, after Pionia and Neete finished their magical power replenishments, they carried the frozen Sheena No.3 to a cool location and Rarael took over.

The third report was regarding the Dark-Elves.

“That’s really unfortunate. Here, please have this tea made from fruits from the fruit trees in the forest.”

“Thank you, Rarael … ah, delicious.”

It was a slightly sweet tea.

Delicious … Ha, I’m healed.

“If you hated it that much, couldn’t you just escape?”

“I thought of doing so but the exit was sealed and they came on so strong in a short time that it would be hard for me to hold back. I wouldn’t want to hurt the two of them.”

“So nice of you … as expected of Ichinojo-sama.”

“Moreover, it wasn’t as though I disliked it. However, I don’t wish to touch the two of them so it was more like prolonged anguish for me.”

“Prolonged anguish? If Ichinojo-sama wishes, you may use the Dark-Elves. We will work hard to satisfy Ichinojo-sama.”

Rarael, I was just mentioning that such advances were tough on me.

Rarael was attractive but I was currently making Carol wait so I don’t plan to touch any other girls.

“Ah, right. I met Doxco. He made a beautiful grave after finding out that you all died. Even though it would be hard for him to continue working with the Shiraraki Kingdom if it was found out.”

“He did something like that … I’m grateful.”

Rarael smiled with a slightly complex expression.

She was happy for his thoughts but had to endure lying to him about the truth.

“That’s right, Rarael. What is the third report?”

Rarael’s expression sank even though I said that to change the topic.

“It’s a shameful matter regarding my family so I don’t really want to talk about it but …”

Ah, so it’s a bad report.

“Well, I’m family now too so you don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“I’m grateful you say that. Actually, a portion of the Dark-Elves wishes for pillows.”

“Pillows? Pillows not as a metaphor but the actual item normally used to sleep?”

“Yes … those pillows. A portion of them requested Pionia-sama and Neete-sama for the production but are currently waiting for Ichinojo-sama’s approval.”

“Ah, something like that? I think they can just go ahead for something like pillows.”

“The pillow … isn’t an issue but the pillowcase is more problematic.”

“Pillowcase?”

The pillowcase can easily be made though.

They even made those festive attires they wore just now.

“This is one of the prototypes …”

“They even made prototypes?”

I picked up the folded pillowcase.

It felt nice to touch and it certainly seemed possible to have nice dreams when using it.

But I felt that it was a little big to be used as a pillowcase.

“Hn?”

I had a bad feeling and spread the pillowcase open.

” ……… !? Oi, what is that?”

“A pillowcase.”

“A cover … for a hug pillow. Of a life-size Ichinojo-sama.”

That’s right. There was an illustration on the pillowcase that was probably modeled after me (Although it was a lot more handsome than the real person and it wasn’t a mirror so looking at it in person was a little disconcerting.

Moreover, the outer surface was me in my regular clothes while the inside was me baring my upper body … and there were more muscles compared to the real person.

” … Hey, it’s a bit rude to say this but … are Dark-Elves crazy?”

“It’s a little rude to say this but they were poisoned by Neete-sama. They converse very frequently.”

” … Ah, I’m sorry about that.”

” … It’s okay, I’m sorry too.”

As Rarael apologized, a paper slipped out from her grip.

“Hn? This —”

“Ah, Ichinojo-sama, that is!”

“Pre-order list?”

That was the pre-order list for the hug pillowcase among the Dark-Elves.

They have started pre-ordering even though it has not even been decided to be in production?

” … Rarael, why did you order as well?”

” … Th-that is …”

“Moreover, three.”

” … Hug pillow salesperson Ririana said that we need to have one for ornamental use and one for safekeeping …”

“I see I see … I’ll consider it good that it didn’t become a cult.”

I said with a smile.

“But the hug pillow is rejected. I’ll be confiscating this as well.”

“N-no way! Please, I was so nervous that I couldn’t sleep when I used that prototype hug pillow but when morning came —”

“It’s even worse if it prevents you from sleeping! And you used it!?”

Even though I rejected it, the Dark-Elves who should have sworn allegiance to me, gathered signatures and appealed against the order to stop the production of the hug pillow.

After that, I had a discussion with several of the Dark-Elves including Rarael.

In the end, I compromised with making cushion covers of my caricature.

 

Doxco … the Dark-Elves you are worried about are doing fine, although I feel that they are traveling down a strange direction.

 

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GC V9C288

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SL Chapter 132

30 Comments

  1. .   ヘ⌒ヽフ Thanks!
      (  >ω<)Nepu!
      / ~つ )っ~

  2. Alex

    Hahahahaha.
    This situation is kind of funny. but totally desnecessary

    • Rezco

      I hate Virgin Beta japanese MC ways of thinking

      • BatataYacon

        Well, he is not a virgin. But he decided that the next woman he woul lay with would be Carol, so he is keeping his promises.

        Also, I don’t think it is really a good idea for him to compromise here. It may end in a bloodbath.

      • LostMyBoBo

        It’s better to tease them for now. The end result will be worth it when they gang rape him …. or something ….

  3. Cursed Lich

    Thanks for the chapter!

    I was a bit concerned since the disclaimer, thinking something so funny or gross would show up that I would spit everything on my mouth and stopped eating, but it was ok. Probably because I seen too much gross stuff irl I’m not irked by mere armpit licking.

    [Gross Alert]
    Weird is looking what the fresh cadaver ate for his last meal after we open it in the morgue. I can look at that half digested mess and talk about it while eating cookies but I’ve seem people throw up or stop eating that food on the corroded stomach for life.

  4. Med1um

    Haha, dark elves already thirsty for his d.
    Private harem of hundred or so (can’t remember clearly) women, who can’t even get pregnant. Too bad for MC that don’t desire it.

    • spare

      Can’t get pregnant YET, don’t worry there will probably be something for inter-species guarantee among the lifestyle magic probably the last level

    • John Christianson

      It’s a shame those dark elves can’t get pregnant

      • ChunLing

        They totally can get pregnant.

        The children might be biologically unrelated to any sex partners, since they get pregnant from eating the small fruit of their tree, but it has been definitely mentioned that they can get pregnant.

        Uhg. Leaving the paternity issue there up in the air is kinda unsettling. Far more so than that little scheme to bait&switch indirect and direct sweat drinking.

  5. Meatbun Delivery~
    Thank you for the chapter ( ●w●)

    Why do i feel that the cult was already established a long time ago?

  6. Filip Dinca

    That moment when you almost start to regret saving some people. Then again, I’m sure those girls feel the need for some descendants and so they are getting hungry for some action, but most of the blame is on those crazy homunculus.
    Thanks for the chapter! Awesome translation! God bless you!

  7. Carmeops

    yeah, isolated environment with 3 perverted ladies that run the place and a single male in a position of authority who also saved their life and specie by himself…

    yeah, there is no way this COULDN’T go wrong

    • RioghanDer2te

      unless he’s an ugly tyrant who has kidnapped the rest of their species and is keeping them as ‘lifestock’, lol

  8. rooislangwtf

    Thanks

    Why do I find the drinking of the sweat more gross than licking it directly from his body?

    • RioghanDer2te

      Me too, I also find it more gross and don’t know why.

      • Sleet

        Same. I’m thinking because when you remove the “intimacy” and involve cutlery it starts to look a little too much like cannibalism.

      • ChunLing

        It’s inherently less sanitary. If they’re licking his body then they’re only licking the body part they actually lick. If they use a cloth…they could be indirectly licking pretty much anything in that environment.

  9. I want to slap the MC…. he has a harem but won’t touch them…. for shame….

  10. RioghanDer2te

    Thanks for the chapter^^

    I don’t know why, but I kind of want to see the scene of Rarael sleeping with the body pillow, lol

  11. SFcipher

    Thanks for the treat.

  12. SFcipher

    Thank you.

  13. Ghalaghor

    Not what I expected, but it was still a fun read.

    Thanks for the chapter!

  14. JayVlad Dark Heart

    Thank you for this chapter!

  15. Spoonikle

    sweat drinking is hardly gross. Just water and some electrolytes. As long as its fresh and the person is clean its as sanitary as anything else. Kissing people is grosser than that, and even grosser is going down on your girl. So sweat is super tame, anyone who looses their lunch over it – I want to see that so I can point and laugh at the DT/Virgin/weakling.

  16. Don’t blame Neete, blame her crazy creator <_<

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